Hebrews 12:1 (NKJV)-“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…”
So, I’m having one of those weeks again. You know the one just like you have; when you just want one thing to go your way. You’re actually not looking at everything going on, to see the blessings you have; you’re upset because they-re not the blessings YOU want.
I’m working at my computer. It’s what I do when I get kinda down. I don’t aimlessly surf, I do organizational things; I do things that make me feel better about how it runs, or how fast it can access this or that. In other words, I’m just piddling around (for your Northerners, piddling is a Southern term. Find a hillbilly friend and ask him/her what it means.).
Anyway, I may have mentioned this before, but I am supposedly the resident IT guy in my home (that is the information technology or computer geek). If something goes wrong with the computer, I’m called from whatever I’m doing. If I’m asleep (a rare occasion-usually, if my daughters are up, I’m up) I have scrap paper at the desk for the little notes I get. I’ve at least trained them that when the error message comes up, they need to transcribe it EXACTLY as it appears on the screen. It’s hard for me to re-create something from, “I was typing, and I pushed this button, and I got a blue screen of death.” “Well, what did it read?” “I don’t know, Dad/honey/Bo. I’m just telling you the computer is broken.”
Anyway, the point is, my family has faith in me. They have seen time and time again, that when the box of circuitry has an error, Dad will come in and do some stuff, type in something, re-boot, and everything is okay.
So yesterday, I’m updating some software that we have installed on this behemoth. I’m already irritated, because the update manager for the software locks up EVERY TIME I use it. It’s annoying, because I have to babysit it to nurse it through. I’m tired of the garbage-so I go straight to the vendor’s website. A couple of judicious clicks and I find the update I’m trying to get installed.
All 332 MB of it. Now, ordinarily, this wouldn’t rile me, because I have a cable modem. It shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes. So, imagine my face when the site connects and I get a box telling me that it is going to take 2 ½ HOURS to download this file.
I’m really starting to reevaluate the value of this software. So, I figure I’ve got time to kill. Fast forward to later…much later. I’ve got it installed, and it gives me an error; I have to kill the installation, and power button off the computer, since it’s locked up and won’t re-boot.
Now I’m getting really perturbed. I finally get it installed, re-boot the thing, and I get an error message stating that I have a keyboard error. I check my cabling, and I’m getting error lights on the back of the CPU. Now, I’m REALLY hot. I unplug one thing at a time, and I find what I think is the problem.
Oh, boy, this is NOT funny. It’s my 500 GB external hard drive. The one I purchased to have reliable storage outside my CPU, since I’ve had a tower hard drive go bad on me before and lost everything on the drive.
I am completely at a loss. I have no idea. If you knew what I had on this thing, there is only one question you’d want an answer to. “What was the look on your face, Bo?”
So, during all this, I’m close to sheer terror. I have no idea why, I just am. I can’t lose this thing. The pictures, all the music, the databases, everything….
“Is everything okay, Dad?” one of my daughters ask me. “Just having a bit of an issue with the computer.” “Oh, okay.”
Now, I know you don’t understand, but this is one of those moments of clarity straight from God. All my daughter said, was “Oh, okay.” But it was the WAY she said it that struck me. She said it in the matter-of-fact way they say things when they have broken it and bring it to me saying, “Can you fix this?” As Dad, you are obligated to say, “Yes; yes I can darling.”
She knew it was a computer problem, and I was on it. It wouldn’t be a problem for long. She had no doubt that she’d be able to get on later and update music on her iPod and e-mail her friends and all that stuff; none whatsoever.
I thought about all the stuff that has been going on this week. I thought about how many times I wondered who was going to fix this or that; who was going to help me; when was someone going to put themselves out for me. None of that mattered at that point; all that mattered was the simple faith my family puts in me, because they know God has gifted me.
They trust in what God does through me; but I don’t trust enough that God is looking out for me. I don’t trust enough that He has my best interests at heart during all the things I go through, good or bad. I’m thinking that I’m running this thing called life with God during the good; and by myself during the not so good. Where do we come up with this stuff?
God isn’t arbitrary in our life. He isn’t there one minute, and gone the next. In his book, “So You Want to Be Like Christ?” Chuck Swindoll talks about how God has not only laid out the course of our life, but He ran it before us through Jesus. And because of that, we have an example of how we should run. Jesus is not just our finish line; He’s not just a completion goal. He’s also an example. He’s the edge we need to win this race called life.
I’m feeling kind of winded this week. The race course seems so long; as well as being all uphill. But, if I give it to Him, and tell Him what needs fixing, He can and will do it. I only have to be prepared to LET Him fix it. And occasionally, His fixing will reveal another error that I didn’t see; it comes with the territory. I have to allow Him to work ALL the kinks out; not just the ones I’m comfortable with at this time.
When I let Him, He is the greatest IT guy around.
Today, right now, He may be trying to work something out in you. He may be trying to straighten out some scrambled code in your life. Or, He may just be preparing you for a new program He’s going to install later on. He has to remove some previous installations in order to ensure there are no conflicts with what He wants to do in your life.
I’ll be honest; it’s not something I like going through either. But man, when the clouds part for just an instant and I see through the glass clearly instead of darkly; well, I know that I know that I know that it will all work out in the end.
I just have to have faith that He is going to fix it. He’s not failed yet. Here, you want a piece of scrap paper to jot an error message down? I’ve got plenty.
Be blessed in the Lord today,
P.S. For those still wondering; yes, my external hard drive is working. I had a conflict and un-installed, then re-installed the hardware. Amazing huh?