Monday, September 29, 2008

1 Sam 3:18 (NKJV)

1 Samuel 3: 18 (NKJV)-“…And he (Eli) said, ‘It is the LORD. Let Him do what seems good to Him.’”

Okay, I’m back.

I resisted this long enough. It seems fitting that this starts back on a Monday, because I have had the mother of all Mondays. I think this is by far the worst Monday I have ever had in my entire 42 years of existence.

But God is still God.

I have run; I have walked; I have hidden, and I have cowered. No matter where I went, however, God was there. No matter what I did, God was right there beside me.

He is here even today, on the worst Monday of my life.

I emphasize this day because no matter how bad it seems to me, God will bring me through this, as He has every trial and tribulation before this one. He will escort me through this Monday, and I will barely remember it a couple of days from now.

I look back on these devotionals, and I remember that, no matter how bad I thought they were, if I put it out, someone read it and it touched them. I forgot that for a while. We get so much inbox junk, and I just didn’t think I should add to it.

I see so many other devotionals out there that seem head and shoulders above this little bit of drivel that I try to write, and it feels so…inadequate. But God kept being persistent, “Let Me be the Judge of that.”

Jesus used a parable in the Bible talking about a man who planted wheat in his field, and an enemy of his came and planted tares. The tare is a form of rye-grass that is indistinguishable from wheat until it fully ripens. It is also poisonous.

Today, on Monday, I want to admit to you all that I have been planting tares in my life. God has been using me to sow His fields with wheat, to feed His people in my own way. But lately, each time He planted a wheat seed, I planted a tare. And today, Monday, I look back at my field, and I am ashamed.

I want to cry, again. I just want God to give up on me and leave me to rot, because I don’t deserve all that He does for me. I just want to give up.

Jesus is here now. He is trying to wipe my tears away, but I don’t want Him too. I don’t feel that I am worthy of His love anymore. I’ve let Him down completely; again.

Wait; He’s speaking to me. What do you mean? I planted poisonous seeds where you planted good ones. I’ve ruined this field.

Oh my…who is that?

It’s my wife, and my daughters. They are bundling up the tares and setting them aside to burn. Teresa is out there, and so are Treva, and Mike, and Jennifer, and Randy, Dan, and a host of others. They are in MY field burning MY tares.

I want to yell at them; tell them to stop. It’s my fault the field is ruined. You don’t need to be in my field, go to someone else’s; someone who is more deserving. Jesus is talking to me again. He reminds me to let Him do what seems good to Him.

They want my wheat; who am I to deprive them of it.

I thank you for being there for me, my friends. And I ask those of you are reading this, to look out on your field. What are you planting? Are you planting good seed, or tares? No matter what goes on in our lives; no matter how many Mondays we have, God is still God.

Tomorrow, this day will not even exist again, forever. Don’t dwell on it. Let it go, as my family likes to say. God is still sovereign and He still reigns. No matter how I feel, it doesn’t affect my salvation. It doesn’t affect my standing with Him…and more importantly, it doesn’t affect yours either.

Let it go.

Well, I’ve got stuff to do now. See, when I stopped looking at the bad and started looking at God, He reminded me that ultimately I work for Him. Oh, and He’s given me another bag…this one is full of wheat seeds.

I’ve got some work to do. You wanna help? There’s plenty to go round. And the harvest is coming sooner than we think.

Let’s plant some life together.

Be blessed in the Lord today, and always,

Bo J.

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