I don't like this. I've already slipped up. I will be honest with you today, of all days. Well, this blog is a testament to that fact; I try to be honest in here. It helps those who come here and read it to know that they aren't alone in what they deal with in their lives.
I am brute forcing this out of me. I got nothing. I am so fed up with stuff right now. And it's not even stuff that matters in life, it's just me. It's just stuff that I want to yell and scream and rant about and I can't.
Most of you have no idea how hard it is to put your words and thoughts out here for anyone who cares to look to see. Sometimes it hurts, not because of what people say, but because of what it shows about your character. You want everyone to think you have it together, when in fact, that is the furthest thing from the truth.
People will say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" I have been blessed beyond measure, but somedays, I don't want to make lemonade. Somedays, I just want to take those lemons and throw them at a wall :)
Forgive me for this, if it's not what you expected. Into every life a little rain must fall. It's what we DO when it rains that defines us. I have tried and tried and tried to keep dancing. However, sometimes, you just want to know that you're not dancing alone right?
There is a verse that keeps popping up in my head, but it doesn't seem to fit how I feel right now. Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)-"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap IF WE DO NOT LOSE HEART." [Emphasis mine]
I don't want to lose heart, and I guess I really haven't. I'm just too embarrassed to put this out there for you to read. I don't want you to know the real me; the one who doesn't have it all together. I don't want you to know that deep inside I sometimes yearn for something a little different.
But I also know that inside of me is Someone stronger than me, who loves me for being....me. And while I may not understand it right now, I can be okay with it.
Where are you today? Are you walking on the high road or in the valley? It's okay-there's plenty of company in both. And God is big enough that He can be in both of those places and all the little ones in between at the same time. I'm glad.
Let's make our way to the house of the Lord together. Be blessed today.